Celebrate the return of ‘Clone High’ with JFK’s most iconic quotes


Beloved cult series Clone High has officially been given a reboot over at HBO Max. For those who don’t know, this 13-episode series that ran from 2002-2003 follows the teenage clones of various historical figures in high school dealing with modern-day issues while trying to live up to their “clone-fathers” and “clone-mothers” legacies. The show was made to parody such teen dramas at the time, such as Dawson’s Creek.

Clone High, which was created by Chris Miller & Phil Lord, featured the clones of Abraham Lincoln, Joan of Arc, Gandhi, Cleopatra, and JFK, who all fall into various stereotypes. From awkward nerd Lincoln to popular d-bag JFK, Clone High getting that reboot is going to be great. While there were a lot of excellent quotes from the show over its brief run, JFK got some of the best lines.

So let’s take a moment to relive them.

Iconic JFK quotes

*popping in and out of bathroom to taunt Abe and Gandhi* “I will see you there. And by will, I mean won’t. HA HA HA! / Because you’re not invited. I, er, wasn’t sure if I was clear on that earlier. So you’re not. Invited that is. / TO MY PARTY!! / Forgot to wash my hands . . .”

JFK: Gay foster dads, can I watch Will & Grace with you?
Gay foster dad: But you usually watch SportsCenter up in your room, baby.
JFK: I’ve been thinking of switching channels . . .  and I’m a little scared.
Gay foster dad: Getting into a new show can be a little uncomfortable, but once you get into the rhythm of it you’ll be on your knees begging for more.

JFK: Hey, you! Half Pint, Junior Mint, Pipsqueak, Tiny Tim, Yardstick, Snack Pack, Wee Fella, Brown Leprechaun!
Gandhi: Are you talking to me?

“Do you mind? Some of us are trying to nail Catherine the Great here… Or should I say Catherine the So-So?”

“This is a very tough time for me, without Cleo I’m a broken man. Hey, let’s all go swimming in my pool, and by pool I mean bath tub, and by swimming, I mean *sex*.”

JFK: *to Joan of Arc* Are uh you drunk enough to sleep with me?
Joan: *kicks JFK in the face*
JFK: Answer the question.

“Nothing bad ever happens to the Kennedys.” *car immediately flips over*

“I didn’t see it coming either. And by ‘it’, I mean ME.” 

“I’m a Kennedy. I’m not accustomed to tragedy.” 

“Holy Toledo. They’re fighting in their skivvies.” 

“Ask not what your student body president can do for you . . . Ask what you can do to your student body president’s body.”

Gandhi: Shut up!
JFK: You shut up!
Gandhi: Nooo . . . you shut up!
JFK: *gasping* Did you just tell me to shut up?
Gandhi: I did.
JFK: Shut up!

“Hey baby, want a corsage? ‘Cause I got a delicate flower for ya . . .  in my pants!”

“I can’t see due to the glare from Mena Suvari’s enormous forehead.”